Sunday, August 1, 2010 - It's been 2 1/2 weeks since I last posted. I think that I have gotten slack on posting because these past 2 weeks at home have felt much less like an adoption journey and more like doing "family."

Language: Pretty amazing progress- this morning he opened the refrigerator and said, "refrigerator broken? No light. I'm thirsty." It's very rare that he gets frustrated with not being able to get his thoughts/needs across to us. He helped me unload the groceries last week and named the items he was taking out of the bag, one by one. If he didn't know he'd ask and then repeat the word I'd tell him. So glad the kid is smart. Wouldn't love him any less if he weren't but it sure is wonderful when they learn fast.

Eating: Not quite all American yet - still won't try a cheeseburger or a piece of birthday cake. He now likes pizza so that helps. Actually eating isn't much of an issue now. His love for ice cream is what I use to get him to eat just about everything I put on his plate. "No dinner, no ice cream."

Sleeping: Brush teeth, drink of water, go potty, P.J.'s on, read 2 books, say prayers, lights out - and John's and my work is done (usually). I enjoy hearing Scott and Cooper talk to each other while they're in bed and I'm so enjoying NOT hearing Cooper crying, "I can't take it anymore!" when Scott wouldn't let her go to sleep. We're getting ready to move into our new house in September and not so sure the sleeping in different bedrooms (and all alone) is going to fly for Scott.

Health: Poor kid endured much to "catch up" on his immunizations. Rather than running titers to see if he has been sufficiently vaccinated up to this point - all shots are being redone. So, Monday he had 4 tubes of blood drawn, PPD skin test, a shot in each arm, and 2 in each thigh. Welcome to America, Scott! Fortunately, no more shots for another 6 months.

Bonding: Something "magic" happened on July 20th (7 1/2 week mark of us being home). The resentment I'd held toward Scott was replaced by feelings of love and acceptance. John and I were given the opportunity to share at our church on the 21st about our adoption journey and what God has taught us about faith over these past 3 years. In preparation to share, I read back over much of my prayer journals since beginning this adoption as well as our blog entries. Wow, how could we not be anything but blown away by God's amazing power and his provisions? We had lost 2 referrals from Guatemala in '07 before that country closed it's doors to adoptions, endured 20 months with a horrible adoption agency and a "false alarm" to travel back in '08, hit all kinds of obstacles and struggles while in Kazakhstan last March and April- yet by God's grace, we were able to see His hand in so much of it. Scott Kirill King, a precious 5 yo boy from the other side of this world, is who God has chosen to bless our family with. God never promised us an easy ride, but in preparing to talk about "faith" we can see some purpose for our trials. I pray we are stronger in our faith because of it. Toward the end of our talk on Wednesday night at church, Cooper and Scott entered from the back of the church and ran up on stage with me and John (they'd just finished with a little soccer "camp"). John returned to his seat down below, I sat on the steps leading to the stage, and our 2 adopted children, whom we believe God led us to adopt, stood (and jumped off and on the stage) under the lights while a song our oldest son wrote about Scott's adoption was being played.

The coolest thing about adopting a child, about being obedient to something you feel like God has asked you to do, is that you get to put your arms around the results of that act of obedience (and they can put their little arms around you). As difficult as our ride has been, these past 2 weeks have served as confirmation that we have done the right thing.

For whomever is still following along, please pray for Brady; that his heart and mind would be softened toward Scott, and that God would give us wisdom to know how to help Brady work through this.

Wednesday, July 14 So maybe I didn't have such realistic expectations with the idea of "fixing" this little guy by the end of the summer and having us all one big happy and healthy family before school starts. And starting Scott right into kindergarden with Cooper, I might add, just so I wouldn't have to stretch this preschool thing out over a 22 year span from child #1 to child #5. I am grateful for the advice we've received from good books as well as from other families, yet I have been looking at Scott more as a "project" to complete rather than my son to love. Tonight (6 1/2 weeks into him joining our family) has been the most significant night of bonding/cuddling/holding that Scott and I have had together. Scott crawled up into my lap, in his bright blue and green stripped pajamas, and leaned his head back on my chest. It's the most relaxed he's been in my arms and to kiss his head and rub his arms and tummy felt almost natural. There was someone in the hospital on t.v. and he asked me "Shtoetta?"/What is it? I told him they were in a hospital. I asked him if Scott had ever been in a hospital and he said "yes." I asked him if an ambulance took him to the hospital and he said "Yes. Ambulance too loud. Scott scared in ambulance." Wow, that was our first "conversation" about his life before us (we were told that an ambulance took him to the hospital after the police found him at the quarry the day after his mother attempted suicide). It felt good to be able to hug him and tell him he didn't need to be scared now (maybe I do have a heart somewhere down there). We haven't had an abundance of "tender moments," but praise God, the resentment I have been feeling toward him (for whatever reason) is beginning to fade.

As far as melt-downs or tantrums go, Scott is having very, very few. He really wants to be near me or John, so us walking away from him when he has a fit has worked well. Actually, Cooper has started to have the melt-down, yelling/crying her eyes out fits when I have corrected her and this is pretty unusual for her. She generally is very easy going. Not sure if she just thought that the tantrums she observed in her new brother looked like so much fun that she wanted to join in or what. She cries, "I thought you loved me" and runs off. Hoping that this will get better soon. I'm feeling like they might have something to do with her seeing me be more affectionate to Scott and that she is jealous.

Bed times have been much better. Scott has to lay out his clothes for the next day (still preferring long pants but letting me talk him into shorts some days). Of course, Cooper has to have hers laid out right beside his. Offering ice cream AFTER pajamas get put on brings about the fasted change of clothes ever (confession - afternoon swim means chlorine has killed all germs, therefore we can skip the bath). Cooper picks a book and Scott picks a book and now they both enjoy being read to together. When Cooper kisses her favorite character on a page, Scott has to kiss his. The last several nights the two of them have talked and giggled in their beds, both of them surrounded by a row of stuffed animals who are tucked in beside them - another "tender moment".

All in all things are so much better. A week at the lake on vacation last week with Kelly and Tucker joining us what wonderful. Scott loves the jet ski (not so keen yet on riding in the "biscuit" behind the boat) and caught on fast to running and jumping off the dock and doing "cannonballs." In reading over what I've written tonight I'm bewildered as to what is it that is such an emotional strain. The pleasant behaviors are out numbering the unpleasant as far as Scott is concerned. I think it's the sudden way we go from such pleasantries to someone yelling that "he hit me" and I'm being called into referee that wears me out and me then watching my own "melt-downs" in their various and not so lovely forms being played out by my always observant children. What a humbling experience this has been.

July 3, 2010 John and I have been asked to speak at church one Wednesday night this month and share about our adoption journey, our Journey to Faith. Oh how I thought at this point, 3 years this month since our journey to adopt again began, that I'd be able to say to others, the meaning of "faith" is . . . this. "This" being something I can actually get my hands around. Well I can't. I hesitate to record my feelings for anyone to read, because the truth is, my mind is in a horrible place and some in reading, will think less of me, be shocked, disappointed, whatever. I started this blog in order to let those who are interested, follow along with our adoption ride. It's been a journey of faith because it began as something John and I felt called to do and because of all the bumps in the road, it has pushed us to hold on tight to the One who calls us and leads us. The disappointment comes in seeing that the "journey to faith" isn't complete. Meaning, we have our new child home at last - mission accomplished - NOT.

We are still holding on tight to the One who has called us. And that, I am learning, is what faith is. This feels like the hardest thing, emotionally, we've ever done. I'm depressed, we are all strained and stressed and worn out. If Scott were the only child in our home I could write of all the wonderful progress he is making in his learning English, counting to 10, adjusting to change, ect. "He" has come a long way, but the dynamics between him and Brady, and Scott and Cooper is driving me mad, literally, I think. There is such jealousy and competition for John's and my attention that we are at a loss for what to do. Presently, John and I take turns on dealing with each little "crisis" among the kids - whichever of the two of us is holding together better than the other at that moment gets to intervene. I have poured out more one on one time and energy and focus on this little guy than I ever did with my other four kids (I am/was pretty selfish of my "me" time) and it still isn't enough. I miss the calmness and easiness of the "life" we had before this child came into our lives. I feel horrible for resenting this precious little child for making things at home so hard. It's so difficult to watch the stress on Cooper and Brady as they are being provoked by their little brother. More guilt in realizing that Scott didn't ask to come into our family. We brought him here. He's the one who gave up all that was familiar to him - not us. Even as I type, a part of me is saying that I should delete these words and pretend that all is well. Yet, this is another thing the Lord is teaching me about faith. Life's journey often will not be easy, life is hard, yet God never intended for us to go it alone. God's not finished with us yet (thank goodness). If we were alone on this one, we'd have sunk already. We need friends praying for us and walking beside us, encouraging us and giving us a hand along the way. Faith is believing without seeing. Believing that things will be good again - they will. So I write these words of honest feelings, ugly as they are, in faith that one day many will be able to rejoice with us at the great, great work that God has done, not just in Scott Kirill King, but in all that have chosen to walk along beside us. In the meantime, I will thank God that He is the faithful One.

Monday, June 29 - It's the first day of feeling a bit of a "calm" in the air. No, maybe "calm" isn't the best word because little feet are always running, hands are into things, mouths are eating (the boy can consume some fruit) and Scott is constantly saying, "stoetta"(what's that)? EVERY moment is a teaching moment and I am so, so grateful that I can look back on this day and see that there were more POSITIVE teaching moments than negative ones (stop sticking your finger in the outlet - it's dangerous! Do not pinch Brady! Stay out of Brady's room. Quit hitting Brady's door....)

Cooper and Scott have done more things together today (looking at books, riding bikes, sliding down massive pile of rocks at the new house, catching fireflies, ect.) than they have since Scott arrived. John and I sat and watched them running around and laughing together outside this evening (a Kodak moment without a camera nearby) which helps us begin to feel like we have done the right thing and a also a good thing for Cooper. Cooper said yesterday, "Mom, we need some girl time." Yes, we do! Cooper is such a funny little thing and the stress of all this on her seems to have sucked some of her silly side away. Scott, Cooper and I were at the pool this weekend and I looked across the water and saw her sitting in the water right up next to our (soon to be) neighbors. She doesn't even know their names yet! Cooper thrives on attention from adults and older kids. It's helpful that when mom and dad aren't able to give her one on one, that others can.

Language: Amazing. 5 word complete sentence today. Still says "hochess" for "want" but is spitting out English for most everything. ie. toothbrush/ toothpaste/ swimming/ brush/ buckle up/ I'm hungry, thirsty, tired, banana, apple, pickle, apple juice, milk. He calls Cooper "Coopers King" and usually uses both names.

Bedtime: no problem. Both in same room and after books and prayers no one utters a word. Scott usually wakes first in the morning and climbs up with me in the big chair while I'm having my quiet time.

Praise: Tantrums/meltdowns were minimal today. He is finally getting it that family life with the King's can be a lot of fun if you learn to respect mom and dad (and others). He is handling, "No, not right now," with just a frown (usually) and much less anger. I guess that's why I feel a calm for the first time today. I'm as tired as I can be but with all the progress we've made so far, I can see that our persistence, ect. with him is working.

Prayer request: Not a lot of improvement with Scott and Brady having a deep brotherly love and appreciation for one another - ha! Scott goes around mimicking Brady as he is getting irritated with Scott. I know it's what most little brothers do but Brady can (and will) be and awesome brother for this little fella once we can get past whatever issues (jealousy, ect.) are taking place.

Saturday, June 26 - Random things I'm learning along the way . . . .

1. When a tantrum arises - I now, stop, turn around, and walk away (Dr. Leman's advice in the book I'm reading). Scott's mini-meltdowns are shortened (and probably not as loud since I'm in another room) when I'm not contributing my own "stop that" to his. At least I can go get something more productive done while he's letting me know he wants his own way. Truly, they are getting better and though I've been around plenty of full fledged American kids who do it, I'd rather see an end to them in my house. At least we don't feel like we're being "cussed out" in Russian anymore.

2. When my "4 weeks today living in America" son puts a black leather bracelet with a skull and cross bones from the craft show we attended in his pocket, without anyone knowing, and presents it to me later that day standing in my kitchen, I load the car up with kids and drive back across town and make him hand it to the man at the craft show and say he's sorry. I hope, hope, hope that this "teaching moment' pays off. I have no idea what kind of behavior he got by with for the past 5 years, yet know it's never to late to learn a better way of doing things.

3. I'm learning that I am more motivated now than I was 18 years ago (when Kelly was 5 years old) to TRAIN my younger kids to do the things that they are capable of (picking up their toys, making their bed, putting away their dirty clothes, hanging up their bath towel...) rather than do it myself. What was I thinking? 18 years ago, I had so much energy that it was just as easy to run around and do all those things for them while they were playing or sleeping rather than hassle with trying to teach them how to do it themselves. Now I look down at a pair of their dirty underwear and think, "Gee that's a long way down there to the floor. What if I can't get back up?" I'm praying that this summer of non stop "training" (and however long after it takes) will be an investment for all of us. And that the pay off will be John and I having more time to do something we enjoy doing.

4. I was reminded again tonight, after attending our Greenwood Miracle Baseball banquet (a league for kids ages 4-19 with mental and physical disabilities) that there are many, many families who live with all kinds of challenges. I am so grateful that this little boy that God has given to our family has been blessed with a healthy brain and body and that his potential in this life is limitless. He just needs a lot of love and guidance and consistency and parents who will not lose site of what he can be. Certainly, God never does.

The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you. A great quote that came in an e-mail from a friend yesterday. So true.

Thursday, June 24 - So maybe we celebrated the "finally playing together" too soon. Awful morning/afternoon - I guess for Cooper and Brady this is the same as bringing a baby home from the hospital and the older one says, "can we send him back now?" Very disappointed that Brady's being loving and tolerant of Scott day before yesterday was short lived. Victoria (Ukraine woman) came this afternoon so I could go over to the new house and check on things (without kids). Our visit to lighting/plumbing center yesterday with kids involved a worker having to unscrew/remove the doorknob to get Cooper out of the bathroom she had locked herself into. Then of course, Scott had to go to the bathroom right after that (while the worker was trying to screw the know back on the door). They were glad to see us go! Scott acted strange around Victoria today. It's hard to tell, but he may not want to continue with hearing Russian anymore. Cooper didn't like being around adult Asian's at all the year she came home with us. I have read that a child adopted internationally between 4-6 years of age will lose his ability to speak that language within 2-3 months and his ability to understand the language in 3-5 months. This same article talks about cognitive function being lost as the native language is lost. I'd like to hang on to all the cognitive functioning we can around here since I'm losing most of mine. Not sure how often would be needed to hear Russian being spoken for our son to retain his spoken language.

I listened to a great Focus on the Family radio broadcast sitting in a store parking lot while Victoria was at the house. Dr. Kevin Leman, author of "Have a New Kid by Friday," was speaking. I bought the book.

Tuesday, June 23 - Brady has a new buddy - Scott! Isn't God good? The morning with the two brothers in the same house, couldn't have been worse. Late morning, I took Cooper and Scott to a park to play with some other children while the mom's attempted (with some success) to discuss a book we are reading for a Bible study. Other than a major pout when told he couldn't stay on the monkey bars any longer (due to a line of kids patiently waiting for him to get off) he did GREAT (shirt was 1/2 soaked with sweat, poor kid - this 95 degree heat and humidity is tough). The afternoon was spent at the pool and Scott and Brady kept their distance while Brady got to pick on someone else's (older son). BUT, as I write, the two of them are sitting on Brady's bed watching Bibleman (Brady's favorite) and Scott has been walking around singing the Bibleman jingle! He's pulling out Brady's books and Brady is fine. How sweet it is to have siblings getting along!!!

9:03pm - Just tucked the two little ones in bed (same room) after sitting and reading Scott books, one on one. Scott said "hug" and opened his arm to me for a big hug and kiss (his initiative) and laid down with a smile (huge contrast to last night). He tucked his two bears in at the foot of his bed on a Dora pillow and is holding tight to the other one. W said our prayers together with a "bless daddy" on Scott's part. SWEET! Yes, we can do this! Somebody out there is praying because this is way better than I thought it could be 24 hours ago.

Monday, June 22 My days feel like something between breaking in a wild spirited horse and exorsizing out some demon (I must clarify that my only experience with the latter is from watching a scary movie years ago!). No, I don't think our little guy's got a demon, but there is such incredible anger that swells up in our son in an instant when he does not get what he wants. The anger is less often, less intense, and now I can see that his ability to reason through and stop his tantrums is beginning to occur. We are making so much progress in almost every area but the process is exhausting (and the upkeep of my home has NOTHING to show for it.)
DAY #23 (today) since arriving home and it finally happened: brother and sister actually played together!!!! I saw a glimpse of Cooper and Scott playing together last night when she was Batman and he was Spiderman and I told them to play dead. Gee, I should have tried that sooner - they were still and quiet. Then today, the two ran and played in the sprinkler (a first) together, collected rollie-pollies, and then drew pictures on the drive with sidewalk chalk (all firsts). Scott started saying, "Be gentle" as he picked up little critters (lucky them, because every other bug he has collected were quickly smashed in his fingers or under his shoes). Cooper dropped her own collection and Scott found more and shared with her. It was quite a tender and encourageing moment for me. to watch. To most reading, this may not sound like anything worth writing about but while they played I READ THE NEWSPAPER sitting near by! I enjoyed an accumulation of minutes where no one was tattling, crying, excluding someone, ect.
Language is coming fast and I am grateful. I think that one of Cooper's apprehensions to playing with Scott is that she couldn't understand what he was saying. She'd just look at me and shrug her shoulders after he'd go off on some Russian discertation. Now Scott can name fruits, drinks, bread, chicken, noodles, ect. and has just started saying, "I'm hungry" instead of "galodnee." He counts in English (instead of Russian) and calls John "daddy" instead of papa. He understands even more than he speaks. He will readily repeat anyword or short expression we ask him to try and say (especially if his asking for it in English gets him something in return).
So this is how far we've come: first Sunday I sat at church with Scott and Cooper at each side(John on call) and I felt numb. Second Sunday, eight days ago, I sat fighting back the tears, feeling depressed and overwhelmed, asking myself, "What have we done?" Yesterday, we sang and worshiped with our kids beside us (less overwhelmed and more hopeful) and enjoyed the sermon after the singing while Cooper and Scott were in children's church without me (a first). That's progress.
Here's our big prayer request. Brady is really struggling. Typically he is so great with little kids and could not be a better sister to Cooper, even from the start with her joining our family at age 2. Brady and Scott, presently, bring out the worst in each other. Scott charges into Brady's space saying "nyet/no" and other Russian angry sounding words in his face and Brady hollers right back at him. Scott knows how much Brady hates this and does it all the more. Typical brother interaction except the stress of this it is tearing Brady up. I've told him that he is acting toward Scott much the way that I feel inside but that I am just doing a better job of not responding to Scott in anger (sometimes). I think Scott sees his big brother as just that, a sibling much bigger in size than himself, without grasping that mentally Brady isn't so much farther ahead than he is, something Cooper somehow has always seemed to understand.
Step by step we'll get there. We CAN do all things through Christ who gives us strength.

Thursday, June 18th But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint. -Isaiah 41:31 So we may not be "soaring" just yet, but we are "running" forward with improvements. Isn't prayer wonderful? Today is honestly the first day in the past 2 weeks that John and I have actually "liked" our new son. He has had many quite likable moments since waking (hungry) at 7a.m. No changing the sheets and bedspread since Scott did consent last night to wearing a pull-up (even one with princess' on it) to bed. He only pulled out the ice cream out of the freezer once today and didn't fall apart when I let him know that he needed to eat the food on his plate. He stayed in the nursery at the Y for 50 minutes and did fine. Played with Campbell and Lucas at the pool and actually interacted with them. It finally seems to register with him that there is a reason I am telling him not to do something (ie. squirt mom in the face) and he is stopping himself with a bit of pouting but no meltdown. The calmly spoken, "you will sit in the chair if you do that," worked today. He was like a sponge today on learning colors and pointed out "same, same" to lots of different colors. He's not always correct (I can't name a single color in Russian) but he at least knows the English words of many different colors.

Scott was worn out by 6pm and seemed completely content in lying on top of John and having his bag rubbed. He fell asleep on the ottoman and John and I opted to let him sleep and enjoy a candlelight dinner (though brief) in the dining room - just the two of us! Tomorrow we add Brady and Cooper to the mix and I am optimistic that things will be much better than before they left.

Wednesday, June 17 - These last 3 weeks have had me thinking a lot about how much bigger our God is than I had ever imagined. How does God not lose it with me when I grumble and complain about a gift He's given me, especially when I asked for that gift? How does He love me unconditionally, no matter what I do or don't do, no matter how good or bad I am? He's got to feel disappointment when He has patiently worked on teaching me something (ie. to trust Him) and I tell Him that I will, and then I don't. How does He do that? How is God so patient with me when I act so childish? He loves me so much that He doesn't want me to stay the way that I am now, yet He never loves me less when I so often resist his efforts to make me better. He is amazing.

Rereading the words I just wrote, I'm thinking, I just need God to raise this little boy. He's got a lot more wisdom and patience and unconditional love than I do. Last weekend. after sending out some S.O.S. e-mails, ect. in a plea for help during this part of our adoption journey, we have been reminded through scripture, counsel and encouragement that God greatly desires to raise this little boy, through me and John, our family, friends, church, and a wealth of other resources out there from people who have traveled this road before. He's given us his Holy Spirit to help us love unconditionally and to be more patient (John is so mad at me because I admitted that I had prayed for patience again) with our children. And God is committed to walking with us through it every step of the way. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me for I am GENTLE and HUMBLE in heart and you will find REST for your souls. I have let myself get so caught up in the task (of daily survival) that I have failed to really trust that my heavenly Father, the creator of this little boy, has asked me to do something and that He WILL provide for all our needs to get the job done. Ok, enough pep talk for myself, here's some Scott "first's" and progress made:

• First time to eat popcorn, watch Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (in Russian) on the computer, and stay up til 10:30pm with dad (Cooper and Brady are with Kelly and at camp) as John downloaded the movie every 6 minutes. I think Scott thought he'd died and gone to heaven. I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven the next morning when Scott slept til 9a.m.





• First time to travel 280 miles in the backseat of a car (me taking Brady to camp and Cooper to meet Kelly near Charlotte). He traveled great and only unbuckled once, drew in ink on my leather door (always a first to draw on things we aren't supposed to draw on, now he knows that this is a no-no), and pointed out every truck that passed by (so we started counting them, learning their colors, saying hello and goodbye to the trucks).





• First time to ride his own bike (a wonderful loan from the Tillers) with his Spiderman helmet. He initially kept letting go of the steering wheel when he got scared, but now is learning how to steer and brake. The little guy sweats like a pig but still loves to be outside even if it's in the 90's!





• First time to leave my side and go play near the other children outside at church on Sunday (the week before he held my hand most of the morning). He also, without much resistance, put the toy cars back into the toy box when I asked, before we all went outside. The Sunday before he put 2 in his pocket and had to have the other 2 pried from his hands!





• First time to let me read him and Cooper a book together without competing for lap space, who turns the page, ect. (He is still ripping any dangly appendages from a book's page, ie. mama and baby elephant heads that used to wiggle when you opened the page.)





• First time to have his abyet (dinner) plate put in the refrig uneaten and learn that "nyet"/no and a bad attitude on his part won't get him as far as it did last week. This sounds awful, but we really can't have him going to the freezer for icecream every time he isn't thrilled with our meal choices. I'm not going to make him eat foods that make him gag, but I do want him to try small bites of different things. I'm including lots of different foods, several he's eaten fine before, on his plate. I'm anticipating a boy with a big appetite for breakfast tomorrow morning and one that is a bit more willing to sit down and give the foods before him a try.

We are still at a loss on how to handle the meltdowns, which are less intense (especially if we can remain calm and less emotional ourselves) and less frequent. I lost it tonight as he intentionally kept sqirting out more toothpaste when I said, "stop." John took over and gave me a time out. Scott really is learning to settle himself down when he kids disappointed because he isn't getting what he wants every time. We are trying, trying, to notice good behaviors (which there are) and let him know what a good boy he is. The constant "bad boy, bad boy" sure didn't get us anywhere.

Saturday, June 12 It's 9:50 pm and both kids are asleep in their own beds in the same room - making headway. Scott needs to flip and flop around in his bed for a while before he can finally settle down and go to sleep. He does not want me to pull his covers up (until after he's gotten the flopping out of his system, I guess). Once he's ready to go to sleep he covers himself up (even his head) and out he goes.

PLAY DOUGH - What do you know, we had a first for Cooper and Scott to actually play together (sort of). They spent nearly 30 minutes at the kitchen table making big spiders (Scott's creation copying the spider on his Spiderman glove) and a man and his dog on a leash (Cooper's creation). They were both very proud of what they had made. I was proud of 30 minutes with content, coexisting siblings.

Tonight was the first time to put food (spaghettio's, bread, pear) in front of Scott and let him know it's that or nothing. His behavior was so bad this afternoon/early evening that we really weren't in to giving him choices tonight. Good lesson for me - the boy doesn't need (nor does he do so well) with a lot of choices. After initially pushing his plate of food away and grunting, "Nyet," he ate every bite when he understood choosing wasn't an option tonight. I was happy to give him yogurt, ect. after he finished what I had initially given him.

Don't want to write of all the day's meltdowns and tantrums and all the not so pleasant ways we tried to deal with it, so I'll just call it a day. Sure thought that raising a son with Down syndrome who wasn't toilet trained until age 7, didn't start to talk til 4, ect. would have equipped me with more patience than what I have shown in the last couple of days. Failing miserably here. Will try to seek help on how to help our son and get our family through this. Know that we will, but aren't seeing it right now. Probably expecting too much, too soon.

Thursday, June 10 - Glory, glory, mama got to go to the gym today!! I took Scott, Cooper, and our 6 yo next door neighbor, Olivia, whom Scott really enjoys, to the YMCA late this morning, hoping, hoping that Scott might be willing to play in the nursery while I worked out for an hour. He did great and man, do I feel better with some serotonin moving in my body.

OTHER PROGRESS - he refers to himself as "Scott" now and not Kirill or Scott Kirill and seems very proud of this. He wanted to practice (hand over hand) writing his Scott today and had to put several pieces of his "sticker art work" with his name up on the frig. Also, I do think he is beginning to grasp that my "No" means no and that there will be consequences (ie. we leave a fun place, I take what he is banging something with away, ect.). He is still continually testing me and literally "pushing buttons" (answering machine, locks on doors, emergency heat on thermostat, shower faucet, light switches, car horn...) but he handles being corrected a bit easier now (doesn't have a complete melt down that lasts for 10 minutes (now only briefly). If I am able to hold him in my arms firmly, yet gently and talk softly to him after he's had his little meltdown, he transforms into a sweet little boy, like the one we were with at the baby house, and better. He was fine being left for the last 30 minutes in VBS tonight as I stepped out of his class during snack time and greeted me with a smile when I returned to his room. Another biggie - I was able to talk him into putting his paper bag of treasures/goodies back up on the shelf tonight at VBS with all the other children's bags and wait until the end of the night to get it.

Tonight was a firefly catching night (don't think they have fireflies in Kazakhstan). He was so excited about his fist full of fire flies (he told me he had "four"(not cheteeree), which he did), but they weren't moving so well (translation - sort of squished) in his tight fisted hand. His plastic jar of squished fireflies proudly sits by his bed tonight!

Wednesday, June 9 (actually I don't know if it's the 9th or the 10th and I am too tired to get up and look). I want to record these early days of Scott being home with us so that one day we can read back over these writings and see how far we've come and how sufficient God's grace is to get us through this period. I so want to be able to post adorable pictures of all my children playing happily together and John and I looking anything other than totally exhausted! (Right now I can't post any pictures since he's on call again and still not home - 10:20pm -I'll add them later). Oh how my heart sank as I drove up into our driveway tonight at 8:50 with all 3 of my kids tired and needing a bath and John's car NOT in the driveway.

Enough whining. This has been a difficult day and looking back on it, it's probably more to do with me being very tired and OD'd on motherhood demands (that sounds awful and ungrateful) and less to do with Scott being so bad, he is not. Spending the last 3 nights in Scott's and Cooper's Vacation Bible School class has actually been an encouragement to me. One, Scott is handling a "classroom" setting fairly well (all things considered) and two, he by no means is the most uncooperative child in the class (and those other rambunctious boys can understand English!) He is beginning to see that there are enough snacks and crafts and toys to go around for everyone and he doesn't have to fight for it. Both he and Cooper were given a paper bag with their names on them filled with Bible verses and notes for parents, ect. Cooper didn't bother to bring hers in from the car. Scott clutched tightly to his and carried it to bed with him. The next morning, he misplaced his bag and he told Victoria (a Russian speaking Ukrainian woman who came over yesterday to help me) that he was looking for his package of "documentas." Everything that belongs to him right now is of great value to him. Watching how content Scott was in our hotel room that first few days together, having just a FEW toys to play with, I can clearly see how we mess things up for all of our kids by having too much stuff.

John and I really thought it would be helpful to have a Russian/English speaking person at the house several days/ week to help Scott transition and maybe not be so frustrated with not being able to communicate better with us. I was also dreaming of me going to the YMCA this morning to sweat some of this stress off while Scott and his same language speaking little lady would blow bubbles out in the yard. I was hoping that, spoken in his own language, he'd understand that mommy will be back in one hour. I promise. Victoria said that in Ukraine a parent will leave something behind of value with a child to assure them that they would return. So I gave Scott my nice watch to wear. That didn't work - he wanted to go with me, to ride in my car. I asked if he wanted to drive the electric Barbie car by himself (a really dangerous alternative). He told Victoria that no, that was a little car and he wanted to ride in my big car. It would be easier, TEMPORARILY, to let him do whatever he wants, whenever he wants to, and laugh it off when he does the James Dobson's expression of "a willful act of disobedience." The boy's not dumb. He hears us and understands us say, "stop turning that light off and on, ect." And he is taking my (and John's) every response into his little head and determining if mom and dad mean business or will Scott rule the house? The good thing that is coming out of his continual testing of boundaries is that Cooper and Brady are acting better than ever. Either they are appalled at what defiance looks like when someone else is doing it or they can tell mama is about to crack (which they know is getting close when i start praying out loud in the midst of a child crisis!)

Something good to write about - my precious daughter, Kelly, offered to take Cooper next week so that I can focus on Scott (while Brady is away at camp as well). That makes me cry just thinking about it. I so want this "family" thing to work out, and I know that it will, but it tears me up to see how hard this is on Brady and Cooper. I am certain, in time, with whatever help we need, that family life will be wonderful (if we live that long to see it). But it's difficult to explain to Brady and Cooper, what I am trusting in faith will happen. Another good, we are all healthy and I do believe that Scott is happy. He told Victoria that he loves his beautiful room and bed and all his toys. He also told her that his parents (his mom and her boyfriend, I guess) hit him and would not give him food. Oh, dear Lord, thank you for the privilege of giving this precious child a home. Please give us grace to make it. Teach us how to love this child unconditionally and fervently like You do. Thank you for your Holy Spirit that equips us to do all that you ask us to do. Amen.

Saturday, June 5 - Anne Sullivan and Helen Keller, move over. My goodness are we being tested at our house! I am so glad that John and I have had experience in this parenting thing or we'd be sunk right now. Scott is a sweet little boy, but he is checking out boundaries continually.

LANGUAGE - We had Alla (Russian speaking woman from Ukraine who lives in Greenwood) come to the house last Monday to talk with Scott and to try and get him to talk. He wouldn't say a word - until after she left). I am grateful that I was able to learn the basics of communication through a CD and little book we purchased before our first trip. Being able to say in Russian, "Are you hungry, thirsty, do you have to pee/poop?, does it hurt, are you ok? where? say____...." has been very helpful. John also found a website that we can type in the English word we need and a man's voice pronounces it over and over (and it is spelled phonetically). Scott is starting to repeat many English words and a few phrases, "socks, shoes, pajamas, Shelby (our dog), apple juice, popsicle, pickle, mama-juice please..." His pronunciation of most words is perfect and he says it with a smile. He continues to talk about all kinds of things in Russian. The best I can do is smile back at him and say, "dah/yes" or ya-ni pai yimani/I don't understand, which hasn't been necessary so much. I have been writing Scott's name (and Cooper's) on each of their water bottles and after pointing out his name and the letter "S," he has been finding "S's" in the newspaper headlines and pointing them out. Smart little guy. I'm still hoping that he can start kindergarden this Fall with Cooper and not be held back. It would be nice to have them at the same schools. We have much to learn this summer and the biggest lesson is how to live in a family. This is a HUGE adjustment for all of us. Bringing home a 2yo (Cooper's age when we got her) was far less a challenge.

John and I are fairly laid back, but having kids that mind us and don't whine about everything is a biggie for us. Right now, Scott is having melt downs (crying tantrums and a lot of "nyet, nyet, nyet/no's" when he doesn't get what he wants or is corrected (ie. for pinching/hitting Brady, ect.). I feel like a policeman, but when I go to get a report of what happened, Cooper seems to be my only reliable source (Scott can't tell me and Brady often struggles to get out the truth, translation, he lies). As I'm typing this post it is 10:45pm and I can hear Scott in the bedroom whispering. I went to a wedding this afternoon (John's on call and still gone) and my mom came over to stay with the kids. Regrettably, we let Scott sleep for over 2 1/2 hours. He was very tired at 1:30 today and he is used to taking naps when at the baby house. The peace and quiet was so good then, but he is NOT tired now so the naps have gotta go. At least he's staying in his (or close to his) bed right now. Cooper is being an absolute trooper having her space severely invaded and sharing all of her toys. They have had some moments of actually playing together, but mostly just playing near one another. Brady has shown a little brotherly kindness, but mostly, finds his new brother annoying. At times it feels like I have triplet 5 year olds, one is just much bigger in size than the other two.

**Now it's 11:05 and I've been back into the kids room 4 times since typing this. It seems like this last approach is what I need to do more of. I sat on Scott's bed, held him in my arms, and sang the song I sing Cooper ("Surely, the Presence of the Lord is in this Place") while I rocked him. I told him I loved him and I hugged him. He smiled and hugged me back. How I wish I knew what was going through his little mind. I get so exasperated with one challenge after another, but I am forgetting just how much this little guy has been through and is going through now. Nothing is familiar to him except for spending less than 3 weeks with me and John in his domain. How in the world should he know how to behave living in our house? Oh God, I need grace to make it. I am confident that if indeed You have called us to do this, You will equip us with everything (and all the energy) we need to do it right. -Amen

MEALS - Scott has a great appetite and the list of foods he will try (and likes) is getting bigger. He had 2 fried eggs, ham, pear, 1/2 pickle (his choice), part of a bagel with butter and juice for breakfast. After a battle to get him to try the tenderloin I cooked (two bites of this and then...), he gobbled the same meat down tonight without hesitating. He loves pears and most fruits, but isn't so keen on veggies (likes raw carrots and field peas, so far). Surprisingly, he wasn't interested in pizza, chicken fingers, cheeseburgers, or french fries - none of which are healthy anyway (just very convenient to serve).

**11:20pm - just moved Cooper into my bed (John still at the hospital) so she can sleep. I didn't want to do start that, but I feel terrible for her right now. Scott won't stop bugging her. She is not complaining. Even at five, Cooper seems to understand that Scott's adjusting to our family and life in America is going to take some time.

Will close for now -this is way too long. For those of you who prayed us through the adoption process while we were in Kazakhstan, please don't stop. We need discernment every step of the way on how best to help this little boy adjust and to know he is loved. We need physical strength and stamina to get through each day (it's now 11:40pm and FINALLY quiet).

Sunday, May 30th - Happy 21st Birthday, Tucker!

Cooper says that Scott woke her up talking. She doesn't know what about. I'm glad he feels comfortable expressing himself in his own language. I know he understands that we speak a different language than his, but I'm not sure if he realizes that we really don't know much Russian at all. We have been calling him Scott Kirill and are beginning to drop the Kirill more and more. I wasn't sure how the best way to do this with a 5 year old. Hearing him say with a grin, "My name is Scott Kirill," over and over again while back in Almaty has made me feel really good about his name. He seems to like his name and now when we just say "Scott" he is beginning to respond. I think Kirill is a pretty name but we are choosing to give him a new start with a new name (a name that will always bring up wonderful memories of my brother and a name that people won't have to ask, "How do you say that? How do you spell Kirill?")

Lot's of first for the boy today - trip to Cambridge Park with both his sisters and his daddy (this mama stayed home feeling like she's been head by a truck all day with jet lag big time. Cooper and Scott

Saturday, May 29th - HOME AT LAST!

Our 12:00 flight to Columbia was a breeze. This is it, minutes away from our family of SEVEN being together for the very first time. We headed down the escalator in the airport and were greeted by Kelly, Tucker, Brady, Cooper, and John. Cooper was so excited, jumping up and down in anticipation of meeting her new brother. Scott was very shy and had his head down while he was being greeted by all his new family - but there was a smile on his face. Cooper was asked by John what she thought of her new brother and we have her on video saying, "I love him." After waiting a while at the baggage claim, Tucker and I head back upstairs to see where my bag might be. It was in Greenville and not Columbia - who cares! I've got the little baggage that I want - let's go home! Scott is "eat up" with cars (machinas) and boy was he thrilled to climb up into John's big Toyota Sequoia machina. He sat right next to Cooper and quickly became comfortable with all of us. Every now and then he'd look back over his shoulder and smile at Tucker and say Tucker's name. Feels pretty strange to fill up a big SUV with just our family. What were we thinking?

Seemed like Christmas around our house when Scott arrived home. He ran from toy to toy while out in the carport, hopping on scooters and the little tike and Barbie car. He must feel like he has died and gone to heaven. The boy is WIDE OPEN when it comes to playing. He rides the little tyke car straight down the hill into the shrubs and trees. Oh my, little boys are different than girls - even than a tom-girl. Inside he is greeted by Shelby our Maltese and is fine with her. Every toy he sees, he stops to play with and then carries around his favorites as he goes from room to room. He has been wearing a red, white and blue star necklace of Cooper's since he got home.

How sweet it is to sit at our own kitchen table in Greenwood, SC with our 5 kids and my mom who came for dinner. IT IS OVER. We are HOME and our family feels complete (minus Kelly's husband who stayed home in Raleigh!) Scott's first meal at home went well. We are just putting a variety of foods in front of him. What he likes he eats a lot of. Other things that must look strange to him, he doesn't try (yet). Ice cream was a hit (chocolate cake, not so much).

It's hard to put these two 5 year olds to bed because they are already enjoying each other so much. I'm loving seeing all these toys being played with, things that Cooper has lost interest with - until now when she sees her brother all excited about them. Bath time, into P.J.'s, teeth brushed, in the bed, say our prayers, kisses and "Ya tee bya lu blu"/I love you and, can you believe this.... we're done. Scott is asleep in minutes and Cooper is not far behind him. Some of Scott's past orphanage routine/training needs to stick around. This is sweet!

Friday, May 28th - Home at least - (or so we thought! It just wouldn't feel right if there weren't some bumps along the way with this journey).

While waiting to board our flight out of Almaty, we were blessed to have met Lisa and her 5yo daughter also just adopted from Kazakhstan, who were traveling home on the same flights with us from Almaty to Frankfurt and on to D.C. I'll give credit to our Great Provider for providing these two kids, who are heading off to strange new places, lots of hours together to talk and laugh and play. They were so cute together. Victoria and her mom, Lisa, sat in the seats directly in front of us! It thrilled me to hear my little guy talk and joke around with his new friend. We haven't a clue what they were talking about, but they were having a ball. They even sat together in the same seat for a while (with Scott's arm around her shoulder - what a dude!) Scott has so much more personality than John and I were able to see during our 3 weeks with him at the baby house. He is quite a match for his equally, full of personality sister, Cooper.

We had from 11 something a.m. until 5 p.m. to pass the time. It was more enjoyable when Scott and Victoria could play together in the airport terminal, but at 3 pm we parted ways and went to be near our boarding gate. Just before 5pm they allowed half the plane to board the plane for Greenville, SC while telling the other half that they needed to go to customer service to rebook for a new flight - this one was cancelled due to bad weather on route to SC. Strangely no one told our flight crew this news for another 10-15 minutes. We returned to the terminal (Scott being just as patient as ever) and headed to the service counter which was now at least 10o people long. All flights to the southeast area had been cancelled and all these people were also looking for another way to get home. After 27 hours of traveling with a 5 yo (even though he was an absolute angel) I couldn't stand in line the hours it would take in that line. So I went to the 3 people line at the counter where they take your tickets to board people and I cried (and I prayed) and I called John who could tell that my brain was no longer synapsing upstairs at all. 30 minutes later, the very kind lady with United had booked me and Scott for one ticket "confirmed" and one "standby" at noon on the following day (Saturday) to Columbia, SC and 2 "confirmed" tickets at 5pm. We'll take it. John called and got us a room at the Marriott and off Scott and I went to find a shuttle. The Washington Airport is huge, I might add. We walked and walked, still no complaining from my wonderful little boy. He is a great traveling companion.

The hotel was really nice and the beds are much softer in the U.S. than in Kazakhstan. I'm learning that Scott has some interesting likes in his eating. He chose tomato juice to drink at the snack shop after having had it on the airplane and a sesame seed bagel earlier for breakfast- weird, huh? I felt badly that I'd been building up getting to go home all day long and he might think that the Marriott was it. Scott seemed to understand me when I said, "Desaftra, we fly (while holding my arms out like an airplane) and marsh to our doma"/tomorrow we fly and go to our home. He was tickled to get another bubble bath (and equally thrilled to turn on the shower which filled up much of the bathroom floor!) Easy to bed once again, so grateful for how incredibly well he is doing. He slept great and I got 8 needed hours of sleep.

Thursday, May 27th - I wake up at about 7:15 to "Mama, mama." When my eyes finally come unglued and Scott has my attention he says, "Peesit!" Wonder how long the little fella has been patiently sitting there waiting to go to the potty? I respond with a smile, "dah, dah, marsh."/ yes, yes, go! and off he runs to the bathroom - happy! Does it get any easier than this? We both slept all night long - alleluia!! Dressed and down to the 2nd floor for breakfast together. We join Mark (whose wife is upstairs with baby Emmy) for breakfast. The options for breakfast are endless, an incredible spread of food, yet after eyeing everything - the only thing Scott was interested in were the raisins and some orange juice. I don't know what they were served for meals before. We had faced so many more challenging issues during our weeks in Karaganda that learning what foods he liked and was used to just didn't register on the lists of important things. I hope it's more than juice and raisins - that could be a problem.

The day before, we enjoyed an outing with the Camps and Woods on a gondola up to the top of a mountain near our hotel. Scott loved that and it was a wonderful way to see the city. Spring is in full bloom with flowers and green grass (something we saw none of while in the cold of Karaganda). Today, Scott and I have a LOT of time to ourselves. The other 3 families with babies are on entirely different schedules with their 8 month olds requiring 3 naps a day. Scott is too excited to stop for a nap right now. So we do some more walking around, finding small playgrounds behind random apartments, sitting on the curb enjoying our drinks together. He was so excited to have his very own fruit large fruit drink that he kissed the plastic bottle in delight. Especially with him drinking so much, I'm afraid to venture too far off in case I might get lost or I hear the word "peesit" and there is nowhere to go potty!

Not sure when I've experienced a LONGER day. I made the decision to check out of our hotel room at noon instead of paying for Thursday night. We'd be leaving at ll:30pm and I'd just as soon Scott not take a nap in hopes that he'd sleep very well on our ride from Almaty to Frankfurt. Jennifer (another mom we bonded with in Karaganda) offered us her room to hang out in and keep our luggage in while Scott and I explored the outdoors. 12 pm to nearly 12 a.m. is a lot of time to kill with a 5 year old! He did awesome. Never fusses or complains (at least none of his Russian sounded like complaining). We claimed a couch in the lobby as our home from 9pm until 11:35pm when our taxi driver was to take us to the airport. Scott finally passed out on my lap at 10:45 while we waited then was up from 11:30 til nearly 3a.m. as we took a taxi to the airport, went through passport clearance, and boarded on the plane for his first airplane ride. Sure wish I could understand his words - he was thrilled and not scared a bit! No problems with being fastened in a seatbelt, no problems with pressure in his ears. No problems with ANYTHING. He slept like a log til breakfast was served at around 9:15 - how about that?

Wednesday, May 26 - Arrived in Almaty airport on time at 12:15 this morning. Greeted after a long wait through the Kazakhstan customs by a driver who looked like a small version of Shawn O'Conner. He was was holding up a sign with "Kirby King" in one hand and three long stem red roses in the other. Oh, what a wonderful sight! He didn't speak any English, but I could read my name and that was enough for me to hop in his little car and travel to Hotel Kazakhstan, about 20 minutes from the airport. Almaty is quite different from Karaganda. Many of the hotel staff speak Russian, buildings are more updated, and the roads have lines marking the separate lanes of traffic (very comforting when you are sitting in the front seat with no working seatbelt). My kind driver was able communicate (through the hotel staff) that he would bring Olga and Scott to the hotel between 10 in the morning. By 2am I am in my room (19th floor with incredible view of snow topped mountains in off in the distance). Asleep by 3am and wide awake at 6:20am (8:20pm my bodies time - go figure). Great breakfast buffet on the second floor. I'm so glad to run into Catherine (she and David were at the baby house with me and John). We visit during breakfast until my Kazak cell phone goes off. Olga and Scott Kirill are down in the lobby waiting! I ran from the elevator into the lobby and knelt down beside my little guy who was dressed in the clothes we had purchased for him before we left plus a new denim baseball hat (evidently a must for all children to wear when out in the sun). The poor thing seemed so frightened. I picked him up and he was fighting back the tears and they didn't seem like tears of "at last my mother has come for me." Olga kept trying to get him to say "I love you" but he wasn't up for that. Wow, what if he has changed his mind about his new family? We head up to my hotel room for me to get my paperwork and back down and out to meet our driver. Scott sits in the backseat with me with his chin tucked down. I keep patting him and giving him hugs and finally a little smile comes across his face. We make a quick stop by the medical clinic to pick up his medical exam results from the day before then on to the US Embassy to submit the documents that I had brought with me from the US. Scott and I sit outside (beautiful day in the mid 70's) while Olga does paperwork in the Embassy. 15 minutes later we're heading back to our car. The only "official" business left to do is our US Embassy appointment to obtain his U.S. Immigrant visa at 3pm on Thursday.

When we arrive back to our hotel late Wednesday morning, Olga goes with me and Scott back to my room. She leaves me his book bag full of his clothes, goes over Scott's schedule of eating and sleeping while at the baby house, and then bends down to tell Scott that she is leaving and will be back tomorrow. Here come the tears. His sobbing reminds me of the sounds that Cooper made the day she was literally handed over to us - an unconsolable grieving that breaks your heart. Olga was asked to remove Scott from the baby house last Sunday so this is now their 4th day together. The first 2 days Olga said that he continued to ask to go back to the baby house. Now he is crying to go with Olga. My hugs are of no comfort. A glass of orange juice seems to help some. Less than 10 minutes after the crying began, one of us has the idea to go outside for a walk "cooletta" and off we go! Two minutes outside, hand in hand and here comes Scott's smile we were used to seeing each day during our nearly 3 weeks of visiting with him. Anywhere he points - we walk. There are fountains and buses, flowers and grass - HE IS HAPPY! What a relief. He loves being outside. I remember him pointing to the dirt piles on the other side of the tall metal posted fence back at the baby house, asking to go play. We weren't permitted outside the fence. Now, he could venture just about anywhere he wanted to go - hand in hand. I'm glad I have spent time reviewing and learning the basics for Russian "I want to potty, eat, drink, outside, ect." "Hachoo peesit" means we've gotta "pee" and from the expression on his face, it better be quick. We go back to the hotel room for a bathroom break. I look up, "It's time for a nap" and I guess I said it more as a mere suggestion and not a parental command. I sure was wanting a nap but Scott had a different idea - "cooletta." So back outside to walk and explore we went. Whatever makes the little guy happy for now (I'll catch up on sleep later - you think?)

We met up with the Woods and Camps for dinner in the hotel. Scott, at this point, isn't interested in taking a bite of anything new. I had bought us a fancy cheeseburger and fries (at a restaurant called "Guns and Roses") and he was content playing with his toys sitting next to David at our table. Fortunately I had brought some apples, p-nuts, crackers, ect. from home and Scott was able to eat his fill on foods of his choosing. (I pointed to a picture of pizza at lunch and he said "dah"/yes to the picture, but wouldn't taste it when the real thing came. He did put down an entire can of Sprite (again, whatever makes the little guy happy for today).

Bath time was a hoot! He reminded me of the scene with Julia Robert in the bathtub in "Pretty Woman." You've never seen someone so happy and excited to play in a bubble bath (and then some more bubbles when he emptied remains of the hotel bath gel into the tub while I wasn't looking.) Wonder if this is his first bubble bath? Wonder what is going through his little mind right now? I am so grateful that he is happy now. Teeth brushed, P.J.'s on and easy to get in bed - now that's what I'm talking about! I "read" Scott a Winnie the Pooh book, saying as many of the Russian expressions I knew and following that with the word in English. He chatted up a storm telling me his version of the story (I guess). After prayers (wonder who he thinks we're talking to?) I crawled in my twin bed next to his and blew him a kiss. He smiled and blew me one back in return. Tucked into the bed next to him was the big white bear we presented to Scott 2 months ago when we first met him at the baby house. I cannot express the emotions. I'm tired, happy, relieved, grateful, content. Thank you, Father God, for your faithfulness, for this wonderful gift, for the privilege of being a parent to this precious little boy. He is ours and he is happy.

Well, I certainly thought that I would have done a better job of finishing what I started in sharing our adoption story on this blog. Praise God this adoption is coming to a beautiful conclusion whether I write about it or not! My apologies to anyone who still thinks we may be stuck in the volcanic ash somewhere in Europe. We left Karaganda, Kazakhstan at 4:00 Friday morning, April 16th, the day after our court date. Instead of arriving in South Carolina that evening at 6:30, we made it home 6 days later. Renting a car and driving 20 hours from Frankfurt, Germany to Madrid, Spain (to find an airport that was not shut down due to the continually erupting volcano) seemed like a nice way to end our adventure. It sure was an expensive addition to our trip - spent as much in 6 days on food and lodging as we did for 4 weeks in Karaganda!

John's pulling in the driveway as I type to take me to the airport. I will leave Greenville, SC as 7pm and arrive in Almaty, Kazakhstan just after midnight tomorrow night, 2pm on Tuesday here. Hopefully there will be a driver there at the airport holding up a piece of paper with my name on it. After a night's sleep in a hotel, Olga (the escort who is the mother of Kate with Nightlight Adoptions) and Scott will come to my hotel room to begin our first day together. She was asked to take Scott from the orphanage on Sunday so they have had a day and night together at Olga's house already. She said he is talking and EATING up a storm. Hopefully soon he will know that there will always be plenty to eat and no need to stock up on food when he sees it (then again, I often do that and I haven't got his excuse!)

I'll do my best to post a blog or two while in Almaty but may need John's help to add pictures to the blog when I return home next weekend. If you are reading this before our journey is done - PLEASE PRAY!!!! Even though John is not traveling with this time - I am NOT alone.