Monday, June 29 - It's the first day of feeling a bit of a "calm" in the air. No, maybe "calm" isn't the best word because little feet are always running, hands are into things, mouths are eating (the boy can consume some fruit) and Scott is constantly saying, "stoetta"(what's that)? EVERY moment is a teaching moment and I am so, so grateful that I can look back on this day and see that there were more POSITIVE teaching moments than negative ones (stop sticking your finger in the outlet - it's dangerous! Do not pinch Brady! Stay out of Brady's room. Quit hitting Brady's door....)

Cooper and Scott have done more things together today (looking at books, riding bikes, sliding down massive pile of rocks at the new house, catching fireflies, ect.) than they have since Scott arrived. John and I sat and watched them running around and laughing together outside this evening (a Kodak moment without a camera nearby) which helps us begin to feel like we have done the right thing and a also a good thing for Cooper. Cooper said yesterday, "Mom, we need some girl time." Yes, we do! Cooper is such a funny little thing and the stress of all this on her seems to have sucked some of her silly side away. Scott, Cooper and I were at the pool this weekend and I looked across the water and saw her sitting in the water right up next to our (soon to be) neighbors. She doesn't even know their names yet! Cooper thrives on attention from adults and older kids. It's helpful that when mom and dad aren't able to give her one on one, that others can.

Language: Amazing. 5 word complete sentence today. Still says "hochess" for "want" but is spitting out English for most everything. ie. toothbrush/ toothpaste/ swimming/ brush/ buckle up/ I'm hungry, thirsty, tired, banana, apple, pickle, apple juice, milk. He calls Cooper "Coopers King" and usually uses both names.

Bedtime: no problem. Both in same room and after books and prayers no one utters a word. Scott usually wakes first in the morning and climbs up with me in the big chair while I'm having my quiet time.

Praise: Tantrums/meltdowns were minimal today. He is finally getting it that family life with the King's can be a lot of fun if you learn to respect mom and dad (and others). He is handling, "No, not right now," with just a frown (usually) and much less anger. I guess that's why I feel a calm for the first time today. I'm as tired as I can be but with all the progress we've made so far, I can see that our persistence, ect. with him is working.

Prayer request: Not a lot of improvement with Scott and Brady having a deep brotherly love and appreciation for one another - ha! Scott goes around mimicking Brady as he is getting irritated with Scott. I know it's what most little brothers do but Brady can (and will) be and awesome brother for this little fella once we can get past whatever issues (jealousy, ect.) are taking place.

Saturday, June 26 - Random things I'm learning along the way . . . .

1. When a tantrum arises - I now, stop, turn around, and walk away (Dr. Leman's advice in the book I'm reading). Scott's mini-meltdowns are shortened (and probably not as loud since I'm in another room) when I'm not contributing my own "stop that" to his. At least I can go get something more productive done while he's letting me know he wants his own way. Truly, they are getting better and though I've been around plenty of full fledged American kids who do it, I'd rather see an end to them in my house. At least we don't feel like we're being "cussed out" in Russian anymore.

2. When my "4 weeks today living in America" son puts a black leather bracelet with a skull and cross bones from the craft show we attended in his pocket, without anyone knowing, and presents it to me later that day standing in my kitchen, I load the car up with kids and drive back across town and make him hand it to the man at the craft show and say he's sorry. I hope, hope, hope that this "teaching moment' pays off. I have no idea what kind of behavior he got by with for the past 5 years, yet know it's never to late to learn a better way of doing things.

3. I'm learning that I am more motivated now than I was 18 years ago (when Kelly was 5 years old) to TRAIN my younger kids to do the things that they are capable of (picking up their toys, making their bed, putting away their dirty clothes, hanging up their bath towel...) rather than do it myself. What was I thinking? 18 years ago, I had so much energy that it was just as easy to run around and do all those things for them while they were playing or sleeping rather than hassle with trying to teach them how to do it themselves. Now I look down at a pair of their dirty underwear and think, "Gee that's a long way down there to the floor. What if I can't get back up?" I'm praying that this summer of non stop "training" (and however long after it takes) will be an investment for all of us. And that the pay off will be John and I having more time to do something we enjoy doing.

4. I was reminded again tonight, after attending our Greenwood Miracle Baseball banquet (a league for kids ages 4-19 with mental and physical disabilities) that there are many, many families who live with all kinds of challenges. I am so grateful that this little boy that God has given to our family has been blessed with a healthy brain and body and that his potential in this life is limitless. He just needs a lot of love and guidance and consistency and parents who will not lose site of what he can be. Certainly, God never does.

The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you. A great quote that came in an e-mail from a friend yesterday. So true.

Thursday, June 24 - So maybe we celebrated the "finally playing together" too soon. Awful morning/afternoon - I guess for Cooper and Brady this is the same as bringing a baby home from the hospital and the older one says, "can we send him back now?" Very disappointed that Brady's being loving and tolerant of Scott day before yesterday was short lived. Victoria (Ukraine woman) came this afternoon so I could go over to the new house and check on things (without kids). Our visit to lighting/plumbing center yesterday with kids involved a worker having to unscrew/remove the doorknob to get Cooper out of the bathroom she had locked herself into. Then of course, Scott had to go to the bathroom right after that (while the worker was trying to screw the know back on the door). They were glad to see us go! Scott acted strange around Victoria today. It's hard to tell, but he may not want to continue with hearing Russian anymore. Cooper didn't like being around adult Asian's at all the year she came home with us. I have read that a child adopted internationally between 4-6 years of age will lose his ability to speak that language within 2-3 months and his ability to understand the language in 3-5 months. This same article talks about cognitive function being lost as the native language is lost. I'd like to hang on to all the cognitive functioning we can around here since I'm losing most of mine. Not sure how often would be needed to hear Russian being spoken for our son to retain his spoken language.

I listened to a great Focus on the Family radio broadcast sitting in a store parking lot while Victoria was at the house. Dr. Kevin Leman, author of "Have a New Kid by Friday," was speaking. I bought the book.

Tuesday, June 23 - Brady has a new buddy - Scott! Isn't God good? The morning with the two brothers in the same house, couldn't have been worse. Late morning, I took Cooper and Scott to a park to play with some other children while the mom's attempted (with some success) to discuss a book we are reading for a Bible study. Other than a major pout when told he couldn't stay on the monkey bars any longer (due to a line of kids patiently waiting for him to get off) he did GREAT (shirt was 1/2 soaked with sweat, poor kid - this 95 degree heat and humidity is tough). The afternoon was spent at the pool and Scott and Brady kept their distance while Brady got to pick on someone else's (older son). BUT, as I write, the two of them are sitting on Brady's bed watching Bibleman (Brady's favorite) and Scott has been walking around singing the Bibleman jingle! He's pulling out Brady's books and Brady is fine. How sweet it is to have siblings getting along!!!

9:03pm - Just tucked the two little ones in bed (same room) after sitting and reading Scott books, one on one. Scott said "hug" and opened his arm to me for a big hug and kiss (his initiative) and laid down with a smile (huge contrast to last night). He tucked his two bears in at the foot of his bed on a Dora pillow and is holding tight to the other one. W said our prayers together with a "bless daddy" on Scott's part. SWEET! Yes, we can do this! Somebody out there is praying because this is way better than I thought it could be 24 hours ago.

Monday, June 22 My days feel like something between breaking in a wild spirited horse and exorsizing out some demon (I must clarify that my only experience with the latter is from watching a scary movie years ago!). No, I don't think our little guy's got a demon, but there is such incredible anger that swells up in our son in an instant when he does not get what he wants. The anger is less often, less intense, and now I can see that his ability to reason through and stop his tantrums is beginning to occur. We are making so much progress in almost every area but the process is exhausting (and the upkeep of my home has NOTHING to show for it.)
DAY #23 (today) since arriving home and it finally happened: brother and sister actually played together!!!! I saw a glimpse of Cooper and Scott playing together last night when she was Batman and he was Spiderman and I told them to play dead. Gee, I should have tried that sooner - they were still and quiet. Then today, the two ran and played in the sprinkler (a first) together, collected rollie-pollies, and then drew pictures on the drive with sidewalk chalk (all firsts). Scott started saying, "Be gentle" as he picked up little critters (lucky them, because every other bug he has collected were quickly smashed in his fingers or under his shoes). Cooper dropped her own collection and Scott found more and shared with her. It was quite a tender and encourageing moment for me. to watch. To most reading, this may not sound like anything worth writing about but while they played I READ THE NEWSPAPER sitting near by! I enjoyed an accumulation of minutes where no one was tattling, crying, excluding someone, ect.
Language is coming fast and I am grateful. I think that one of Cooper's apprehensions to playing with Scott is that she couldn't understand what he was saying. She'd just look at me and shrug her shoulders after he'd go off on some Russian discertation. Now Scott can name fruits, drinks, bread, chicken, noodles, ect. and has just started saying, "I'm hungry" instead of "galodnee." He counts in English (instead of Russian) and calls John "daddy" instead of papa. He understands even more than he speaks. He will readily repeat anyword or short expression we ask him to try and say (especially if his asking for it in English gets him something in return).
So this is how far we've come: first Sunday I sat at church with Scott and Cooper at each side(John on call) and I felt numb. Second Sunday, eight days ago, I sat fighting back the tears, feeling depressed and overwhelmed, asking myself, "What have we done?" Yesterday, we sang and worshiped with our kids beside us (less overwhelmed and more hopeful) and enjoyed the sermon after the singing while Cooper and Scott were in children's church without me (a first). That's progress.
Here's our big prayer request. Brady is really struggling. Typically he is so great with little kids and could not be a better sister to Cooper, even from the start with her joining our family at age 2. Brady and Scott, presently, bring out the worst in each other. Scott charges into Brady's space saying "nyet/no" and other Russian angry sounding words in his face and Brady hollers right back at him. Scott knows how much Brady hates this and does it all the more. Typical brother interaction except the stress of this it is tearing Brady up. I've told him that he is acting toward Scott much the way that I feel inside but that I am just doing a better job of not responding to Scott in anger (sometimes). I think Scott sees his big brother as just that, a sibling much bigger in size than himself, without grasping that mentally Brady isn't so much farther ahead than he is, something Cooper somehow has always seemed to understand.
Step by step we'll get there. We CAN do all things through Christ who gives us strength.

Thursday, June 18th But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint. -Isaiah 41:31 So we may not be "soaring" just yet, but we are "running" forward with improvements. Isn't prayer wonderful? Today is honestly the first day in the past 2 weeks that John and I have actually "liked" our new son. He has had many quite likable moments since waking (hungry) at 7a.m. No changing the sheets and bedspread since Scott did consent last night to wearing a pull-up (even one with princess' on it) to bed. He only pulled out the ice cream out of the freezer once today and didn't fall apart when I let him know that he needed to eat the food on his plate. He stayed in the nursery at the Y for 50 minutes and did fine. Played with Campbell and Lucas at the pool and actually interacted with them. It finally seems to register with him that there is a reason I am telling him not to do something (ie. squirt mom in the face) and he is stopping himself with a bit of pouting but no meltdown. The calmly spoken, "you will sit in the chair if you do that," worked today. He was like a sponge today on learning colors and pointed out "same, same" to lots of different colors. He's not always correct (I can't name a single color in Russian) but he at least knows the English words of many different colors.

Scott was worn out by 6pm and seemed completely content in lying on top of John and having his bag rubbed. He fell asleep on the ottoman and John and I opted to let him sleep and enjoy a candlelight dinner (though brief) in the dining room - just the two of us! Tomorrow we add Brady and Cooper to the mix and I am optimistic that things will be much better than before they left.

Wednesday, June 17 - These last 3 weeks have had me thinking a lot about how much bigger our God is than I had ever imagined. How does God not lose it with me when I grumble and complain about a gift He's given me, especially when I asked for that gift? How does He love me unconditionally, no matter what I do or don't do, no matter how good or bad I am? He's got to feel disappointment when He has patiently worked on teaching me something (ie. to trust Him) and I tell Him that I will, and then I don't. How does He do that? How is God so patient with me when I act so childish? He loves me so much that He doesn't want me to stay the way that I am now, yet He never loves me less when I so often resist his efforts to make me better. He is amazing.

Rereading the words I just wrote, I'm thinking, I just need God to raise this little boy. He's got a lot more wisdom and patience and unconditional love than I do. Last weekend. after sending out some S.O.S. e-mails, ect. in a plea for help during this part of our adoption journey, we have been reminded through scripture, counsel and encouragement that God greatly desires to raise this little boy, through me and John, our family, friends, church, and a wealth of other resources out there from people who have traveled this road before. He's given us his Holy Spirit to help us love unconditionally and to be more patient (John is so mad at me because I admitted that I had prayed for patience again) with our children. And God is committed to walking with us through it every step of the way. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me for I am GENTLE and HUMBLE in heart and you will find REST for your souls. I have let myself get so caught up in the task (of daily survival) that I have failed to really trust that my heavenly Father, the creator of this little boy, has asked me to do something and that He WILL provide for all our needs to get the job done. Ok, enough pep talk for myself, here's some Scott "first's" and progress made:

• First time to eat popcorn, watch Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (in Russian) on the computer, and stay up til 10:30pm with dad (Cooper and Brady are with Kelly and at camp) as John downloaded the movie every 6 minutes. I think Scott thought he'd died and gone to heaven. I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven the next morning when Scott slept til 9a.m.





• First time to travel 280 miles in the backseat of a car (me taking Brady to camp and Cooper to meet Kelly near Charlotte). He traveled great and only unbuckled once, drew in ink on my leather door (always a first to draw on things we aren't supposed to draw on, now he knows that this is a no-no), and pointed out every truck that passed by (so we started counting them, learning their colors, saying hello and goodbye to the trucks).





• First time to ride his own bike (a wonderful loan from the Tillers) with his Spiderman helmet. He initially kept letting go of the steering wheel when he got scared, but now is learning how to steer and brake. The little guy sweats like a pig but still loves to be outside even if it's in the 90's!





• First time to leave my side and go play near the other children outside at church on Sunday (the week before he held my hand most of the morning). He also, without much resistance, put the toy cars back into the toy box when I asked, before we all went outside. The Sunday before he put 2 in his pocket and had to have the other 2 pried from his hands!





• First time to let me read him and Cooper a book together without competing for lap space, who turns the page, ect. (He is still ripping any dangly appendages from a book's page, ie. mama and baby elephant heads that used to wiggle when you opened the page.)





• First time to have his abyet (dinner) plate put in the refrig uneaten and learn that "nyet"/no and a bad attitude on his part won't get him as far as it did last week. This sounds awful, but we really can't have him going to the freezer for icecream every time he isn't thrilled with our meal choices. I'm not going to make him eat foods that make him gag, but I do want him to try small bites of different things. I'm including lots of different foods, several he's eaten fine before, on his plate. I'm anticipating a boy with a big appetite for breakfast tomorrow morning and one that is a bit more willing to sit down and give the foods before him a try.

We are still at a loss on how to handle the meltdowns, which are less intense (especially if we can remain calm and less emotional ourselves) and less frequent. I lost it tonight as he intentionally kept sqirting out more toothpaste when I said, "stop." John took over and gave me a time out. Scott really is learning to settle himself down when he kids disappointed because he isn't getting what he wants every time. We are trying, trying, to notice good behaviors (which there are) and let him know what a good boy he is. The constant "bad boy, bad boy" sure didn't get us anywhere.

Saturday, June 12 It's 9:50 pm and both kids are asleep in their own beds in the same room - making headway. Scott needs to flip and flop around in his bed for a while before he can finally settle down and go to sleep. He does not want me to pull his covers up (until after he's gotten the flopping out of his system, I guess). Once he's ready to go to sleep he covers himself up (even his head) and out he goes.

PLAY DOUGH - What do you know, we had a first for Cooper and Scott to actually play together (sort of). They spent nearly 30 minutes at the kitchen table making big spiders (Scott's creation copying the spider on his Spiderman glove) and a man and his dog on a leash (Cooper's creation). They were both very proud of what they had made. I was proud of 30 minutes with content, coexisting siblings.

Tonight was the first time to put food (spaghettio's, bread, pear) in front of Scott and let him know it's that or nothing. His behavior was so bad this afternoon/early evening that we really weren't in to giving him choices tonight. Good lesson for me - the boy doesn't need (nor does he do so well) with a lot of choices. After initially pushing his plate of food away and grunting, "Nyet," he ate every bite when he understood choosing wasn't an option tonight. I was happy to give him yogurt, ect. after he finished what I had initially given him.

Don't want to write of all the day's meltdowns and tantrums and all the not so pleasant ways we tried to deal with it, so I'll just call it a day. Sure thought that raising a son with Down syndrome who wasn't toilet trained until age 7, didn't start to talk til 4, ect. would have equipped me with more patience than what I have shown in the last couple of days. Failing miserably here. Will try to seek help on how to help our son and get our family through this. Know that we will, but aren't seeing it right now. Probably expecting too much, too soon.

Thursday, June 10 - Glory, glory, mama got to go to the gym today!! I took Scott, Cooper, and our 6 yo next door neighbor, Olivia, whom Scott really enjoys, to the YMCA late this morning, hoping, hoping that Scott might be willing to play in the nursery while I worked out for an hour. He did great and man, do I feel better with some serotonin moving in my body.

OTHER PROGRESS - he refers to himself as "Scott" now and not Kirill or Scott Kirill and seems very proud of this. He wanted to practice (hand over hand) writing his Scott today and had to put several pieces of his "sticker art work" with his name up on the frig. Also, I do think he is beginning to grasp that my "No" means no and that there will be consequences (ie. we leave a fun place, I take what he is banging something with away, ect.). He is still continually testing me and literally "pushing buttons" (answering machine, locks on doors, emergency heat on thermostat, shower faucet, light switches, car horn...) but he handles being corrected a bit easier now (doesn't have a complete melt down that lasts for 10 minutes (now only briefly). If I am able to hold him in my arms firmly, yet gently and talk softly to him after he's had his little meltdown, he transforms into a sweet little boy, like the one we were with at the baby house, and better. He was fine being left for the last 30 minutes in VBS tonight as I stepped out of his class during snack time and greeted me with a smile when I returned to his room. Another biggie - I was able to talk him into putting his paper bag of treasures/goodies back up on the shelf tonight at VBS with all the other children's bags and wait until the end of the night to get it.

Tonight was a firefly catching night (don't think they have fireflies in Kazakhstan). He was so excited about his fist full of fire flies (he told me he had "four"(not cheteeree), which he did), but they weren't moving so well (translation - sort of squished) in his tight fisted hand. His plastic jar of squished fireflies proudly sits by his bed tonight!

Wednesday, June 9 (actually I don't know if it's the 9th or the 10th and I am too tired to get up and look). I want to record these early days of Scott being home with us so that one day we can read back over these writings and see how far we've come and how sufficient God's grace is to get us through this period. I so want to be able to post adorable pictures of all my children playing happily together and John and I looking anything other than totally exhausted! (Right now I can't post any pictures since he's on call again and still not home - 10:20pm -I'll add them later). Oh how my heart sank as I drove up into our driveway tonight at 8:50 with all 3 of my kids tired and needing a bath and John's car NOT in the driveway.

Enough whining. This has been a difficult day and looking back on it, it's probably more to do with me being very tired and OD'd on motherhood demands (that sounds awful and ungrateful) and less to do with Scott being so bad, he is not. Spending the last 3 nights in Scott's and Cooper's Vacation Bible School class has actually been an encouragement to me. One, Scott is handling a "classroom" setting fairly well (all things considered) and two, he by no means is the most uncooperative child in the class (and those other rambunctious boys can understand English!) He is beginning to see that there are enough snacks and crafts and toys to go around for everyone and he doesn't have to fight for it. Both he and Cooper were given a paper bag with their names on them filled with Bible verses and notes for parents, ect. Cooper didn't bother to bring hers in from the car. Scott clutched tightly to his and carried it to bed with him. The next morning, he misplaced his bag and he told Victoria (a Russian speaking Ukrainian woman who came over yesterday to help me) that he was looking for his package of "documentas." Everything that belongs to him right now is of great value to him. Watching how content Scott was in our hotel room that first few days together, having just a FEW toys to play with, I can clearly see how we mess things up for all of our kids by having too much stuff.

John and I really thought it would be helpful to have a Russian/English speaking person at the house several days/ week to help Scott transition and maybe not be so frustrated with not being able to communicate better with us. I was also dreaming of me going to the YMCA this morning to sweat some of this stress off while Scott and his same language speaking little lady would blow bubbles out in the yard. I was hoping that, spoken in his own language, he'd understand that mommy will be back in one hour. I promise. Victoria said that in Ukraine a parent will leave something behind of value with a child to assure them that they would return. So I gave Scott my nice watch to wear. That didn't work - he wanted to go with me, to ride in my car. I asked if he wanted to drive the electric Barbie car by himself (a really dangerous alternative). He told Victoria that no, that was a little car and he wanted to ride in my big car. It would be easier, TEMPORARILY, to let him do whatever he wants, whenever he wants to, and laugh it off when he does the James Dobson's expression of "a willful act of disobedience." The boy's not dumb. He hears us and understands us say, "stop turning that light off and on, ect." And he is taking my (and John's) every response into his little head and determining if mom and dad mean business or will Scott rule the house? The good thing that is coming out of his continual testing of boundaries is that Cooper and Brady are acting better than ever. Either they are appalled at what defiance looks like when someone else is doing it or they can tell mama is about to crack (which they know is getting close when i start praying out loud in the midst of a child crisis!)

Something good to write about - my precious daughter, Kelly, offered to take Cooper next week so that I can focus on Scott (while Brady is away at camp as well). That makes me cry just thinking about it. I so want this "family" thing to work out, and I know that it will, but it tears me up to see how hard this is on Brady and Cooper. I am certain, in time, with whatever help we need, that family life will be wonderful (if we live that long to see it). But it's difficult to explain to Brady and Cooper, what I am trusting in faith will happen. Another good, we are all healthy and I do believe that Scott is happy. He told Victoria that he loves his beautiful room and bed and all his toys. He also told her that his parents (his mom and her boyfriend, I guess) hit him and would not give him food. Oh, dear Lord, thank you for the privilege of giving this precious child a home. Please give us grace to make it. Teach us how to love this child unconditionally and fervently like You do. Thank you for your Holy Spirit that equips us to do all that you ask us to do. Amen.

Saturday, June 5 - Anne Sullivan and Helen Keller, move over. My goodness are we being tested at our house! I am so glad that John and I have had experience in this parenting thing or we'd be sunk right now. Scott is a sweet little boy, but he is checking out boundaries continually.

LANGUAGE - We had Alla (Russian speaking woman from Ukraine who lives in Greenwood) come to the house last Monday to talk with Scott and to try and get him to talk. He wouldn't say a word - until after she left). I am grateful that I was able to learn the basics of communication through a CD and little book we purchased before our first trip. Being able to say in Russian, "Are you hungry, thirsty, do you have to pee/poop?, does it hurt, are you ok? where? say____...." has been very helpful. John also found a website that we can type in the English word we need and a man's voice pronounces it over and over (and it is spelled phonetically). Scott is starting to repeat many English words and a few phrases, "socks, shoes, pajamas, Shelby (our dog), apple juice, popsicle, pickle, mama-juice please..." His pronunciation of most words is perfect and he says it with a smile. He continues to talk about all kinds of things in Russian. The best I can do is smile back at him and say, "dah/yes" or ya-ni pai yimani/I don't understand, which hasn't been necessary so much. I have been writing Scott's name (and Cooper's) on each of their water bottles and after pointing out his name and the letter "S," he has been finding "S's" in the newspaper headlines and pointing them out. Smart little guy. I'm still hoping that he can start kindergarden this Fall with Cooper and not be held back. It would be nice to have them at the same schools. We have much to learn this summer and the biggest lesson is how to live in a family. This is a HUGE adjustment for all of us. Bringing home a 2yo (Cooper's age when we got her) was far less a challenge.

John and I are fairly laid back, but having kids that mind us and don't whine about everything is a biggie for us. Right now, Scott is having melt downs (crying tantrums and a lot of "nyet, nyet, nyet/no's" when he doesn't get what he wants or is corrected (ie. for pinching/hitting Brady, ect.). I feel like a policeman, but when I go to get a report of what happened, Cooper seems to be my only reliable source (Scott can't tell me and Brady often struggles to get out the truth, translation, he lies). As I'm typing this post it is 10:45pm and I can hear Scott in the bedroom whispering. I went to a wedding this afternoon (John's on call and still gone) and my mom came over to stay with the kids. Regrettably, we let Scott sleep for over 2 1/2 hours. He was very tired at 1:30 today and he is used to taking naps when at the baby house. The peace and quiet was so good then, but he is NOT tired now so the naps have gotta go. At least he's staying in his (or close to his) bed right now. Cooper is being an absolute trooper having her space severely invaded and sharing all of her toys. They have had some moments of actually playing together, but mostly just playing near one another. Brady has shown a little brotherly kindness, but mostly, finds his new brother annoying. At times it feels like I have triplet 5 year olds, one is just much bigger in size than the other two.

**Now it's 11:05 and I've been back into the kids room 4 times since typing this. It seems like this last approach is what I need to do more of. I sat on Scott's bed, held him in my arms, and sang the song I sing Cooper ("Surely, the Presence of the Lord is in this Place") while I rocked him. I told him I loved him and I hugged him. He smiled and hugged me back. How I wish I knew what was going through his little mind. I get so exasperated with one challenge after another, but I am forgetting just how much this little guy has been through and is going through now. Nothing is familiar to him except for spending less than 3 weeks with me and John in his domain. How in the world should he know how to behave living in our house? Oh God, I need grace to make it. I am confident that if indeed You have called us to do this, You will equip us with everything (and all the energy) we need to do it right. -Amen

MEALS - Scott has a great appetite and the list of foods he will try (and likes) is getting bigger. He had 2 fried eggs, ham, pear, 1/2 pickle (his choice), part of a bagel with butter and juice for breakfast. After a battle to get him to try the tenderloin I cooked (two bites of this and then...), he gobbled the same meat down tonight without hesitating. He loves pears and most fruits, but isn't so keen on veggies (likes raw carrots and field peas, so far). Surprisingly, he wasn't interested in pizza, chicken fingers, cheeseburgers, or french fries - none of which are healthy anyway (just very convenient to serve).

**11:20pm - just moved Cooper into my bed (John still at the hospital) so she can sleep. I didn't want to do start that, but I feel terrible for her right now. Scott won't stop bugging her. She is not complaining. Even at five, Cooper seems to understand that Scott's adjusting to our family and life in America is going to take some time.

Will close for now -this is way too long. For those of you who prayed us through the adoption process while we were in Kazakhstan, please don't stop. We need discernment every step of the way on how best to help this little boy adjust and to know he is loved. We need physical strength and stamina to get through each day (it's now 11:40pm and FINALLY quiet).