Monday, June 22 My days feel like something between breaking in a wild spirited horse and exorsizing out some demon (I must clarify that my only experience with the latter is from watching a scary movie years ago!). No, I don't think our little guy's got a demon, but there is such incredible anger that swells up in our son in an instant when he does not get what he wants. The anger is less often, less intense, and now I can see that his ability to reason through and stop his tantrums is beginning to occur. We are making so much progress in almost every area but the process is exhausting (and the upkeep of my home has NOTHING to show for it.)
DAY #23 (today) since arriving home and it finally happened: brother and sister actually played together!!!! I saw a glimpse of Cooper and Scott playing together last night when she was Batman and he was Spiderman and I told them to play dead. Gee, I should have tried that sooner - they were still and quiet. Then today, the two ran and played in the sprinkler (a first) together, collected rollie-pollies, and then drew pictures on the drive with sidewalk chalk (all firsts). Scott started saying, "Be gentle" as he picked up little critters (lucky them, because every other bug he has collected were quickly smashed in his fingers or under his shoes). Cooper dropped her own collection and Scott found more and shared with her. It was quite a tender and encourageing moment for me. to watch. To most reading, this may not sound like anything worth writing about but while they played I READ THE NEWSPAPER sitting near by! I enjoyed an accumulation of minutes where no one was tattling, crying, excluding someone, ect.
Language is coming fast and I am grateful. I think that one of Cooper's apprehensions to playing with Scott is that she couldn't understand what he was saying. She'd just look at me and shrug her shoulders after he'd go off on some Russian discertation. Now Scott can name fruits, drinks, bread, chicken, noodles, ect. and has just started saying, "I'm hungry" instead of "galodnee." He counts in English (instead of Russian) and calls John "daddy" instead of papa. He understands even more than he speaks. He will readily repeat anyword or short expression we ask him to try and say (especially if his asking for it in English gets him something in return).
So this is how far we've come: first Sunday I sat at church with Scott and Cooper at each side(John on call) and I felt numb. Second Sunday, eight days ago, I sat fighting back the tears, feeling depressed and overwhelmed, asking myself, "What have we done?" Yesterday, we sang and worshiped with our kids beside us (less overwhelmed and more hopeful) and enjoyed the sermon after the singing while Cooper and Scott were in children's church without me (a first). That's progress.
Here's our big prayer request. Brady is really struggling. Typically he is so great with little kids and could not be a better sister to Cooper, even from the start with her joining our family at age 2. Brady and Scott, presently, bring out the worst in each other. Scott charges into Brady's space saying "nyet/no" and other Russian angry sounding words in his face and Brady hollers right back at him. Scott knows how much Brady hates this and does it all the more. Typical brother interaction except the stress of this it is tearing Brady up. I've told him that he is acting toward Scott much the way that I feel inside but that I am just doing a better job of not responding to Scott in anger (sometimes). I think Scott sees his big brother as just that, a sibling much bigger in size than himself, without grasping that mentally Brady isn't so much farther ahead than he is, something Cooper somehow has always seemed to understand.
Step by step we'll get there. We CAN do all things through Christ who gives us strength.